Online Date: Lisa and Tom

Online Date: Lisa and Tom

by Ken Rander

Rating: 2 of 5 stars

My Review:
I barely want to admit that I read this and that I am willing to give it two stars instead of just one.  Because for as much as the writing was so strange, I didn't really think about relegating this book to the Did-Not-Finish pile.

It is really hard to rate though. It wasn't what I expected and that doesn't inherently make it bad, but I'm just not sure what to say about it. First of all, it's listed on Amazon as a New Adult/College Romance. As I was clicking around through my normal romance-ish recommendations on Amazon, this one came up. Since it was free and the description sounded interesting, I decided to give it a try. You can see from the cover it's going to be a bit racier than plain romance, but at the end of the book the acknowledgements basically say this was written as a “smut” book with a little bit of storyline. Most romance authors that I read don't talk like that about any romance books and most authors I read don't write like this. Romance is it's own genre and is not “smut”. I didn't find this book to be that much more sexual that most of the other romance novels I read, it was just strangely different.


I kept reading this book wondering who writes like this. The writing itself seemed rather juvenile – like an early college, male wrote it. It felt very mechanical. Instead of all the pieces flowing together, it felt like there was a checklist to make sure each of these elements got added to the story. “Little bit of get to know you? Check. Meet before sex? Check. Protection talk? Check.”


The writing felt very crude and base, like a Hangover-style movie. I can't tell you how many times the characters run into a room saying “I have to pee”. Yes, real life happens this way sometimes, but for a book that's mostly about sex, that sort of stuff just isn't sexy.


At one point, the female character is somewhat turned on that the male piled towels next to the bed and laid some out on the bed because now she knows they're going to make a wet mess. I started wondering if this was meant to be a farce and it just wasn't funny or if we were supposed to take this seriously.


Lots of words and phrases were overused and used in unusual ways. Just a lot of unsexy, sex talk. It's possible that it's just not my style so I found it odd. Maybe one day language will shift and these phrases will take on new sexy meanings. But until then, this is a story that just didn't work for me. And if you're looking for something that's actually romance or even erotica, there are plenty of other books.  This book isn't one of them.

Faking It

Faking It
by Diane Alberts
Rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

My Review:
I was a little bit so-so on this book. It's a pretty solid 3 ½ stars for me. By the end, I liked it, but there were some annoying things and I wasn't swept up when I first started reading. It took me two or three tries before I felt like continuing past the first couple pages.

Stephanie is the klutzy youngest child, with I believe three older brothers. One of them is an FBI agent and, in between dangerous missions, he's always checking up on her and trying to take care of her. He also likes to set her up with his friends.

This latest friend ends up being Derek. Owner of a company, in town on business, and witness to Stephanie's klutziness even before she knows who he is. The banter between these two is fun, but sometimes seems like too fast ping pong balls. They'd be serious for a while and then just throw in a couple silly lines and I felt like I had to go back and read again to say “oh, that was a silly line”. They could flip flop back for forth in the blink of an eye.

Even though we don't see too much of Stephanie actually getting work done (I don't know much about why she was good at her job, but we're told she is), she has very noble intentions. She's trying to get funding for a series of medical centers for low-income families. Stephanie and Derek end up playing the part of an engaged couple when Stephanie's slimy boss pushes them into that in order for her to keep her job.

Derek is intrigued enough that he plays along and keeps things going. I felt like he was rather condescending to Stephanie a lot of the time. In his mind, he's constantly calling her “little”. She doesn't get angry, she has a “whimsical little temper”. I cringed every time “little” was used, but overall I did like Derek. He was doing what he knew and I felt confident that Derek and Stephanie's obstacles were not insurmountable.

I was glad when Stephanie stood up for herself in the end, but I had been hoping she'd find a way to prove she really could make it on her own. I'm not sure that she really did that. It felt like the book perpetrated this view of women as somewhat inferior, and yes, Stephanie stood up for herself, but it seemed that she just came to accept that she couldn't really take care of herself anyway, so why not let someone else do it. So, I wasn't completely fulfilled with the ending, but I was happy that Derek and Stephanie found a way to work out their differences. 

Control

Control
by Charlotte Stein
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
This wasn't one of my favorite Charlotte Stein books, but I've seen it get a lot of press, so I wanted to check it out. It is so psychologically deep, even though it's almost completely sex, that I had trouble putting it down. I kept thinking about these characters for ages.

All of the sex was sort-of so-so for me. It was still well written, but I just didn't care for a lot of it. It's very filthy and pushes lots of boundaries, but who else could write sex almost cover to cover and have it all mean something so important.

Madison and Gabe are totally messed up characters. And we don't exactly know why. We get little teeny bits about their issues and we're left to infer the rest through the sexual activities. In this book, with this author, that totally works. Most of the Charlotte Stein books that I've read have been fun romps that are absurd and fun, this one was on the more sad side. So often I wanted to cover my mouth and cry and the characters just can't bring themselves out of their fears.

Gabe was sheltered and isolated as a child, but he's got a secret erotica/kinky addiction. For him, “...ordinary life is a privilege, not a right”. Madison, I'm not too sure about. She's messed up, but we're not given too many details of why. I couldn't stop thinking about these two. I had no idea how they'd make it through and I kept feeling like it was going to be a very unfulfilling ending, but it all worked out beautifully.

One of the best things in the whole book:
“Don't live through me, don't wait for me to tell you exciting stories, before you go for it. You don't need someone to persuade you into exploring everything there is about yourself, and even if it scares you...even if you're terrified – and probably about all of the wrong things – it's still more bliss than whatever nothing you were living before.”

Charlotte Stein so effortlessly grabs me and makes me see myself in each of her characters. I'm so happy to see them working through their issues and accepting themselves. This wasn't one of my favorites, but definitely a worthwhile read.

Who's The Boss

Who's The Boss
by Jill Shalvis
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
I needed a break from the current books, so I went old-school again. This book was written in 1999. It was a good example of old-school romance. A Harlequin Temptation, so the sex is pretty mild. The story had some signature Jill Shalvis plot points: nice, misunderstood characters who grow up and learn to communicate, good friends who act as wonderful sidekicks, not quite a much humor as some of her later works, but lots of crazy mishaps too.

Caitlyn is a petite, blonde bombshell and Joe is the computer programmer/CEO. Tall, handsome man, meets spoiled, little rich girl. Except in this case, Caitlyn's father died, leaving Caitlyn with nothing except a promised job at Joe's company. She's never had a job before and is sort of klutzy, but she works hard.

Joe sees Caitlyn as a spoiled, rich girl and it takes him a while to soften up and see that she's more than just a pretty face. He really just wants to be left alone to work on his projects. We don't find out too much about his work, but it's going to take the software world by storm.

I liked how the characters interacted. I liked that you could see Joe caring, even when he didn't want to. Caitlyn gave herself too little credit for a while, but grows a greater self-confidence and starts finding her place.

I had to roll my eyes a little bit with the way this book portrayed Caitlyn's intellect. When Joe and Caitlyn go out to dinner, Caitlyn calculates the tip in her head. And OMG, Joe is shocked. Caitlyn can add... in her head... real numbers. It was so sadly comical. I think it's a sad commentary on what society thought of women, especially rich ones, in the 90s. And something we still have to work through today. Yes, I'm a woman and I can add. I have high hopes for every woman and man, that they can add – even balance a bank statement – without breaking a sweat.

Bottom line, it's a good retro book for when you're looking for something fun. The ending was so satisfying that I was crying. Everyone was sweet and happy to be alive and had just the right touch of angst. But the view of women was troubling and thought provoking for me.

Taming the Tycoon

Taming the Tycoon

by Amy Andrews
Rating: 4 of 5 stars


My Review:
This book felt very charming. It's not that long, but it packs a powerful punch. Nathaniel and Addie are at odds from the very beginning. He's going to tear down a public rose garden that means a lot to her, and she's a part of the protest group. As she handcuffs herself to him and eventually when they're finding the key, Nathaniel ends up getting knocked down and hurt. When he gets a call about visiting his family for the weekend, he needs a date and asks Addie to repay him by playing his girlfriend for the weekend.


Addie has her own reasons for agreeing. She's hoping she can show Nathaniel that there's more to life than money, e.g. save the rose garden. She convinces herself that she's acting altruistically by showing him that he's missing out on life.


Nathaniel's mom and grandmother are great. They run an alpaca farm. Nathaniel is very protective of them, but wants to fulfill his businessman-father's dreams more than he wants to acknowledge the non-businessman side of himself.


I loved some of the language in this book. How many places will you read the phrase “the broiling pit of lust marinating her insides” or “She needed to stay on her side of this bloody debauched bed!”. It was lots of fun, even if I didn't know what some of the things were... I had to look up what a mulberry shirt was.


I really appreciated how Addie was portrayed. She was smart and capable. She didn't diminish herself, but owned her choice of a simpler life and was happy that way. I'm not sure that I felt Addie grew in any noticeable way, so maybe I'd classify this one as a little more retro; girl sees potential in guy and by loving him let's him grow into a better man. Maybe I'd place it as one of the best mid-90s Love Swept books. If that's the style you're looking to enjoy, this is a good book for you.

Silent Warrior

Silent Warrior
by Donna Kauffman
Rating: 3 of 5 stars

My Review:
This book was originally published in 1997. I really liked Donna Kauffman's earlier books so when I saw this one being reissued, it sounded like something I'd enjoy. I really did enjoy the majority of the book. I could barely put it down. But I was really disappointed with the end of the book.

I put the book down at about 65% on my Kindle, expecting that I'd have this whole "how they catch the bad guys" part to get through still. Instead I pick it up the next day and I barely had 15% of my Kindle graph that contained the story. The rest of the book was previews of other Loveswept books (which I totally don't mind). But here's the thing: they're heading off to figure out how to catch the bad guys, hero has to go do his alpha thing and heroine is about to get on a plane to stay safe. Next page is a new chapter and surprise, everything is solved, hooray they caught the bad guys and it's like a month later.

This book had so much good build up. It was this great creepy conspiracy where you don't know who's a good guy and who's a bad guy, then you just get one paragraph at the end saying "he was the bad guy and we caught him". In fact, we don't even get to meet the bad guy at all. There's nothing obvious that ties any of the potential bad guys together and clears up what their role was.

I liked the characters and the story started out really promising, but it felt like it had all this build up for the suspense portion of the novel and then at the end said "oh wait, it's really just a romance so we're only going to see things where the hero and heroine work out their issues".

Seducing Cinderella

Seducing Cinderella
by Gina Maxwell
Rating: 5 of 5 stars

My Review:
This was such a great book! I saw a recommendation from Ruthie Knox and had to give it a try. I loved the writing style and I felt very emotionally involved with the characters. I laughed, I cried and I could barely put the book down.

Lucie and Reid had a good amount of complexity and I love when characters are just good together - they really liked being around each other. The sexual energy was really hot and well written. There were some editing issues - words missing or wrong word, but it didn't interfere with my reading pleasure.

After the book was over, I realized that I would have liked to know more about the characters; they spent a lot of time together but afterwards it felt like you didn't know much about them besides how they were as a couple. Maybe that's a tribute to how well the book was written - I just didn't want it to end and didn't want to give up the visit I had with Lucie and Reid. Can't wait to read Gina's next book.

The Boss's Fake Fiancee

The Boss's Fake Fiancee

by Inara Scott

Rating: 2 of 5 stars

My Review:
This book started with some happy tingles and I was very optimistic about the rest of the book. This is one of the tropes I tend to really like. Lowly minion is attracted to her billionaire boss and implies a relationship with him to her ex to make him jealous and/or prove she's moved on.

In this case, the ex sells the story to the tabloids. I kept thinking the reasoning behind this was going to be more elaborate. You know, maybe he was doing it because she used to work for him and she was too good of an employee to lose. Or maybe he wanted someone to dig up her secret project to discredit her abilities and keep her from patenting her newest breakthrough. Something, anything. But the only thing we get was “he's jealous”.

The hero, Garth, starts out as just one of those elusive billionaires and I had high hopes for him too. But most of the time, he just behaved like a jerk. We're supposed to believe that Melissa falls in love with him, just because sometimes he's not a asshat to her. Oh, and he's nice to his grandmother and some animals.

I just wasn't feeling it. Melissa's all vulnerable and emotional about everything. Garth is closed off and shares nothing of himself. But somehow Melissa falls in love with him. I saw very few interactions that would tell me they actually like each other for anything other than sex. We're told they talk and that they have a nice time together, but the few times we see them outside the bedroom, Garth has snide looks and comments and generally behaves like he's the only person in the world that matters.

He's capable of having conversations with business associates and “playing the game” socially when he's looking for funding, but when it's something that matters to Melissa, he's not even capable of having one or two polite conversations. He puts his angry, jerk mask on “whenever he feels vulnerable”, but in the end, he's still just acting like a jerk.

There were also many times that people or organizations are referenced in passing that seem rather important to the story, but aren't really fleshed out. There's this whole story line of autism advocacy and the company's newest development, but we don't see anything about that. It's just thrown in at the end of the book that obviously Melissa cares about this because she's a part of this autism advocacy group.

We're told that Garth is on the autistic spectrum, but what is the line between “you're just not nice” and “you don't know how to interact”? I'm not sure. Maybe if the book were longer and we got more chunks of seeing the interaction, instead of just being told about it, I would have liked Garth and the story more. As it stood, by the end of the book, there was so little that I liked about the characters that their resolution didn't even matter to me. I didn't really care if they were together or not because they didn't seem to have any noticeable substance that would make me like them.