Whatsoever He Might Kind Of Want Or Desire

Whatsoever He Might Kind Of Want Or Desire
by Jody Wallace
Rating: 5 of 5 stars


Back Cover Blurb:

Gorgeous former party girl law student Krissy LaLove has a heck of a lot riding on her slender shoulders—the care and feeding of several orphaned brothers and sisters. That’s why the vague but high-salaried job description in Creep’s List entices her to apply to be the eighteenth floor personal assistant of none other than ruthless billionaire CEO of CEO Industries, Assad Masterson. 
However, Krissy quickly, ah, comes to discover the high-paying position she’s so desperate to land might mean swallowing her pride...and some other things...as Masterson introduces her to a world of dark lighting, sexual domination and binding contracts. A world where a six figure salary and company health insurance mean nothing next to satisfying one’s burning desires.

My Review:

This book is really short, like 21 pages. But contained within these pages is so much silliness that I had to force the chuckles away while I tried to get my kids to fall asleep. I think if you cross Legally Blonde, with Spaceballs, with 50 Shades of Grey, you'd have some form of this story. It's hilariously filthy and fun. The writing is very clear and amusing, even when you're following five different tangents down their respective rabbit holes. I had such a fun time read this story that I have to go find some more books by this author right away.

Oh, and from my perspective, this is how 50 Shades of Grey should have gone... :)

50 Shames of Earl Grey

50 Shames of Earl Grey
by Fanny Merkin
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
As someone who has no intention of reading the 50 Shades franchise, I found this book pretty hysterical. Actually, I've read the last 20 pages of the first 50 Shades book. So I don't really know that much about the franchise except what I've seen in popular culture. The author is able to poke fun at the books specifically, but also encompasses tons of pop culture and romance-novel-culture too.

I traded off reading this book and a regular romance novel at the same time and I found it sort-of hard to go between the two. This book pokes fun at everything and when I'd go back to the other book, I'd have to remind myself that these romance phrases are meant to be more serious now.

Anna was mostly, completely stupid. She knows almost nothing about life and her internal monologue is ludicrous. “I gaze into his gazing eyes gazingly like a gazelle gazing into another gazelle's gazing gaze.” Part of poking fun and very funny to read.

But what I loved more was some of the “more serious” silliness. Kissing after eating: “Perhaps we shouldn't have started kissing so soon after eating. Your mouth tastes like you ate an entire garlic bulb.” When Anna has some stinky feet: “'I love your scent, Anna' he says, placing his noise an inch away from my toes and inhaling deeply. His eyes grow wide with surprise. 'But perhaps, I shall start with your knees. Good idea.'” You find that in romance novels so often; that people never smell stinky or anything. It's just so funny and laugh out loud to have someone poke fun at that. But that was definitely the hard part alternating with a “serious” romance novel.

If you remember from the first 50 Shades book, the last little bit is the big spanking scene. This book takes that scene and makes it completely hysterical. One of the times that Anna seemed totally real and intelligent. Instead of being dark and heavy, this one completely turns it around and gives everyone the silly absolution they need.

Bottom line, you can't go into this book expecting a serious take on 50 Shades. It's a silly book, meant to make you laugh and be totally over-the-top insane. I'd compare this book a little bit to the Scary Movie franchise, but it also reminded me a lot of Douglas Adams. Will I buy the second book in this parody series? Maybe, but probably not for full price.