Monthly Roundup - October 2014

Ok, so I'm a few days late - make that two months late by the time I publish this. I wrote about half of this back in November, but I got really distracted. Let's just say I worked super hard on my NaNoWriMo project, so this post got pushed back a little bit. I'm not quite done with that project, I have about 47K words and still about four scenes to write before I say I'm done. It's still very nerve-wracking. I just don't know what will happen but I'm pushing through and getting writing in when I can.

On top of that, I'm getting antsy that I really want to "fix" things in the beginning of the story right now. I'm sure I could add more words that way, but I don't think it's a good use of my time at the moment. I think I would get stuck spinning in a circle if I let myself go too far back before I get more of the story out. There'll be plenty of time for that later.

So anyway, onto the books...

What I've been reading
Exposed by Fate by Tessa Bailey
This one just didn't do it for me. In terms of BDSM introductions, it included a lot of appropriate information, but I felt like every time they had sex, something cataclysmically bad happened in their relationship right after that. I didn't believe their happily ever after because they didn't have any interactions (especially sexual) where they actually clicked as a couple and stayed close for more than twelve hours. On top of that, I felt like there was a lot of patriarchal stuff thrown in. Oliver was jealous and possessive and he had a tendency say nasty things. While I wouldn't say Eliza accepted it, per se (she called him out a bunch of times), I never really saw evidence that he grew as a person enough to treat her as an individual when another stressful situation came up after the timeline of the book was over.

Earthbound Passion by Jody Wallace
Super funny and great for a light-hearted read. I had to stop and think about some of the puns because they were just so good. I will definitely get book 2, in fact, since I wrote this up so long ago, I've already gotten and read about half of book two. The only thing I was iffy on was the concept of the choose your own story because I had to keep jumping back and forth so I could read all the paths. There's just no possible way to read through a book and not know what all the pages say.

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Amy Andrews
I read this one a second time because I couldn't remember enough of it except that I liked it. Fun, sexy, kinky-lite and very passionate. Exactly what I would hope for when I pick up an Amy Andrews book. This one wasn't too heavy on the angst, but I enjoyed it a lot.

He Touches Me and He Claims Me by Cynthia Sax
I enjoyed the first part of this trilogy (He Watches Me), but these next two lost a lot of steam for me. Not only are they totally over the top, but they felt like a constant re-hashing of the same tired feelings over and over again. Anna never seemed to grow and she felt so passive to me, like she was just a stand-in for what a character should be. It was an interesting exhibitionist mentality, but I didn't see much growth or ownership of their relationship. Gabriel was kind of creepy and Anna was just a shell.

Pet to the Tentacle Monsters by Lilia Ford
Ok, yes. I read it. It was...interesting. We don't get a lot of background; the sci-fi scenarios and reasons are very vague. It's this BDSM sort of thing that is weird and awkward with aliens, but only some of the aliens are sexual and I still have no idea why.

I also re-read Officer Off Limits by Tessa Bailey
Still love it.

What I've been cooking
I went through a spurt of cooking like crazy. It was like I was preparing way in advance for NaNoWriMo when I told myself I wouldn't cook that much. I made so many batches of fruit roll ups for the kids, applesauce, cookies, extra stews and burgers. So instead, we ate all the food by the first of November and I still had to cook. I'm trying to tell myself pasta and salads are good for the month.

What I've been listening to
My writing music is Mozart's Requiem in D Minor, K.626. Especially when I'm sitting at Starbucks and it's noisy (hello, person who talks on their cellphone), this one is great. No words that I understand, so I'm not distracted. I put it on repeat and it hasn't gotten old yet.

Tell Me When by Mia West

Tell Me When
by Mia West
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

I pretty much stopped reading for the month of November. I feel like I didn't get through any books. But...that's not quite true. I spent two or three evenings in November reading Tell Me When by Mia West. And let me tell you, it was totally worth it.

This was a big one for me. It was a little different than a typical romance novel. It was set up as a collection of seven different adventures for Bryn. Each one can somewhat stand on its own, but they're all one connected story. Each story is very sexual and I would say they all include some kind of taboo or uncommon bit of sexuality. Bryn has sex with multiple partners and that could possibly be a turn off for some people, but the story is a time-travel adventure that lives outside “normal” life for me. There was no judgement in any of the scenarios and only a small amount of jealousy from the main characters' relationship. All of the sex scenes were very hot and steamy and pushed limits in a consensual way.

So this is a romance that develops slowly over the course of all the adventures. In general, a large chunk of the sex is not connected to a relationship but the author carefully explores the idea of objectification and shows (in this fantasy world) how sex can be caring and individual even if it doesn't lead to a permanent relationship.

As for the world-building, I still had a lot of questions when I got to the end of the series. I didn't find a lot of answers to the hows and whys behind the story. A couple details were shared, but I wasn't completely satisfied with the way the world was setup.

But the romance, the sexuality, the acceptance, the interestingness of the adventure? Pulled me in and I had trouble putting the book down. It was raw and gritty, some parts of pain and gruesomeness, but very sexy with lots of positive feelings for me. I will definitely look for more by this author.

Note: The first story in this combined series is Initiation which I also blogged about here. It's a great introduction to see if you'd like the whole story.

*This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Compelled by Mia West

Compelled
by Mia West
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

I started reading this book pretty much as soon as I got it. I was very excited about it. Lately, I've been on a roll for very compact stories and this one fit the bill just right. I love Mia West's voice, her stories really pull me in and leave me with a smile on my face. I pretty much ignored the world for this story and it was worth it.

Kat and Neil get trapped on a deserted island after the weekly ferry leaves without them. They end up having a little bit of camping jungle adventure. The whole story is pretty much just the two of them, no outside influences, nothing to interrupt their budding relationship.

Kat is an invisible-feeling people-person, while Neil is an awkward, geeky, know-it-all type. I felt like the author really got deeply into their heads. Neil uses big words and thinks very analytically. Kat's thoughts and actions are much more flowy and organic. I loved how the author could switch back and forth between their heads so naturally.

There's a bunch of awkward sexual situations, with Kat being a virgin and Neil not. Their relationship grew at a steady pace and progressed from looking to touching to full-on sex. Kat felt self-conscious about her own body, but in some ways, I felt she got over it very quickly. And she wasn't at all self-conscious about Neil's body. They were able to grow their relationship in sexy and emotional ways with a lot of analytical language and some not-mainstream sex acts (hello, little bit of butt play).

The story is rather short, a little more than an hour to read, which perfectly fit the amount of time I had. The sex was kind of awkward and analytical, but it flowed naturally with the story and how the characters interacted. The beginning and ending felt solid, even though there were lots of questions left open. Their relationship was enjoyable to watch and I felt good about where they went. I think this is my favorite book of the series.

This is book three of the Stranded series, but all books are standalone with no overlapping storylines.

I received a complementary copy of this book from the author in exchange for my honest review.

*This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Blog Neglect

Hello, my poor neglected blog. I haven't seen you in a while. I'm not quite done with my NaNo project draft, but it's good to procrastinate sometimes, especially when it's such an important task as blog updates. I had the start of a November Wrap Up going, but I think I'll start off with something different.

To kick things off again, I thought we could have a little Throwback Thursday thoughts. Now, I don't know what most of you grew up reading. When my husband tells stories of his reading assignments, they were always so literary: Catcher In The Rye or John Steinbeck novels. And sure, I read Little Women growing up - had a few classical novels in college too. But the bulk of my early reading was Christian Children's Fiction.

Like these two:



















These were two of my best remembered re-reads. I swear I must have read them more than five times each. They were published by BJU Press way back in the 80s and I think my mom bought the entire catalog of children's fiction that year - at least, that's what my childhood brain remembers.

The Journeyman was this story about a kid who is raised by a neighbor until a journeyman painter comes through and takes the boy with him to apprentice. From what I remember, it was engaging and fascinating. I mean, obviously I read it a whole lot of times.

But when I look back on it now, I think how the mom of this boy died trying to keep his newborn body warm during a cold winter. I think about why that would have happened if dad was in the bed too, because it's not like they were trapped outside or something. I get so disturbed by the message that your parents don't love you, except the dead ones.

The second book in the series (also well-loved by childhood-Me) is of this kid as an adult and ugh. I can't even describe how it bothers me to look back on. He's married, but looking back he was so arrogant, or maybe his wife was just painted as "not as faithful" as him. Because, of course. I think I re-read it and always made myself into the guy, so at least I wasn't the weak one. But it's still a sad commentary on the state of what the books teach kids about marriage and family.

And then the there's the other story. Two Collars. It's the last book in a trilogy - also well-loved by childhood-Me. I think I read the other books in the series more than this one, but this one sticks out in my head more. Even childhood-Me got disturbed by it.

This girl (Yes! main character is a girl. The whole series has female leads, but they always have a lot of arrogance that needs to be stripped out of them, so they learn to be more submissive to "God's plan). Anyway, the girl is a slave in a juggling troupe. Beaten, starved, the whole nine yards. But when this older woman purchases her, something happens. I don't really remember what. All I remember of the story was that the girl eventually got her freedom when the older woman died, but by then she understood that she was never really free anyway because the collar put on her by God (or something) was invisible.

I think about all of this as I head off to the Scholastic book sale tomorrow. I'm not against my kids reading books about hard subjects, but it really bothers me when there's obviously an agenda to paint someone in the story as God or Jesus for these people, so that the kids reading would make a connection to the way God works in the world. Especially when it ends up with a hokey everything-bad-was-really-good way.

You don't like being a slave? Get used to it, cause God asks that of you too - but he's nicer. You as a girl want to see a good example of loving your children? Die for them, or if not, you can love all the other children by taking them in cause your own don't matter as much as the other ones. You want to be a leader, as a girl? You have to empty yourself of everything and allow God to put people in your path who know how to lead, silly girl.

Ugh, so obviously I still have some unresolved issues about these books. You can bet I'm not buying them for my kids to read. Here kids, have Diary of a Wimpy Kid instead. :P

CONTEST: Wild Holiday Nights

So here's a very cool contest for you all. I have in my possession five paper copies of the upcoming Harlequin Blaze, Wild Holiday Nights - with stories from Samantha Hunter, Meg Maguire, and Debbi Rawlins. Comment on my blog for a chance to win. If only five of you comment, you all get the book. Otherwise, I'll throw it into a random decider thingy.

Here's the blurb:

Satisfy your Christmas cravings with…  

HOLIDAY RUSH by Samantha Hunter Cake guru Calla Michaels is canceling Christmas to deal with fondant, batter and an attempted robbery. Then officer Gideon Stone shows up at her door. Calla thought her kitchen was hot enough before…  

PLAYING GAMES by Meg Maguire With her plane grounded on Christmas Eve, Carrie Baxter agrees to share a rental car with her secret high school crush. Sure, Daniel Barber is hotter than ever, but he's still just as prickly, too. It's gonna be one looong drive…and an unforgettably X-rated night!  

ALL NIGHT LONG by Debbi Rawlins Overworked paralegal Carly Watts needs Jack Carrington's signature, but he'll do whatever it takes to buy more time before selling his grandfather's company. Including having one very naughty night before Christmas! 

Now, that doesn't give you nearly enough information to say what these stories are really about, so I'll try to give you a little taste. Each story takes place right over Christmas. At least one character in each story wants to get home for Christmas, even if they can't. With the size of the stories (3-in-1 Blaze only gives you about 75 pages per story), they are very compact with no outside characters contributing to the romance. They have very little conflict and none of the characters take very long to ruminate about if love is important to them.

Oh, and being Blaze novels, they have a little bit of sexytimes, but they were actually a lot tamer than what I've been reading lately. None of the relationships quite made it to happily-ever-after, but all of them gave an indication that everything would work out.

Holiday Rush by Samantha Hunter was a friend-of-the-big-brother story. It was sweet and fun. There was a burglary and a "bad guy", but it was all packaged up all neat and tidy in a short amount of time. Once or twice, we heard that "oh, we couldn't break big brother's trust", but honestly, it's a short story. None of that stops them for long.

Playing Games by Meg Maguire was un-put-down-able and made me cry. The emotion was spot on, even though neither of the characters seem to like each other at the start. This one was a friend-of-the-ex story, but I loved seeing how they both had feelings for each other for so long. It was a little gritty, with a dirty hotel and a snowstorm and I felt it was very signature Meg Maguire.

All Night Long by Debbi Rawlins definitely amused me. There were a couple places I laughed out loud. The word choice and explanations were lots of fun. It's got a business owner/lawyer falling in love with a paralegal/almost lawyer. They had only met once before, so there was a bit more Insta-Lust in this one, but it also left the characters at the earliest stage of their relationship. I felt it was a good compromise for the length. We didn't find out much about HOW they would work things out, but I was happy with their attraction and their personalities.

So, once again, comment here to win. Eligibility ends on Friday, November 14th, 2014. If you win and send me your address quickly enough, I will mail the books out on November 15th so you'll have lots of time to enjoy, possibly even before they hit shelves.

 

Squash Soup Recipe

I found and adapted this recipe from my VitaMix cookbook, but it looks like it's not on their website. I don't think I've tried it without the VitaMix, but I would assume you could cook on the stove and use a blender.

Squash Soup

2 cups water plus 1 tsp Better Than Bouillon Chicken Base
2 cups of cooked squash or pumpkin
1/4 small onion, peeled
1/2 medium apple, seeded
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp dried ground sage
1/4 tsp dried rosemary
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup heavy cream

To cook squash or pumpkin
Preheat over to 400 degrees. Slice squash or pumpkin in half and remove all the seeds and strings. Lay flat side down on a foil lined cookie sheet. Spread a little olive oil over the top (the part with the skin). Cook for 45 minutes to an hour and a half, until a push on the skin feels like the insides are all soft and squishy. (At high altitude, it needs the hour and a half. Low altitude, it might only be 45 minutes.) When it's cool enough, turn each half over and scrape out the flesh with a spoon. One regular size pumpkin normally gives me at least 4 cups of meat - enough for one or two batches of soup, plus sometimes pumpkin bread.

For the soup
Place all the ingredients, except the heavy cream, into the Vitamix container in the order listed. Put the lid on. Start at Variable Speed 1 and quickly increase to Variable 10, then High. Blend for 6-7 minutes or until heavy steam escapes from the lid plug.

Reduce speed to Variable 4 and remove the lid plug. Add in the heavy cream through the opening. Blend for an additional 20 seconds.

Best served with french bread. Even my kids will gobble this soup up if there's french bread for dipping.

Intrusion by Charlotte Stein

Intrusion
by Charlotte Stein
Rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

My Review:
I really couldn't put this book down. In some Charlotte Stein novels, it's because the characters are so amusing. But this one, oh wow, it was so intense and full of creepy tension. There was no way I could stop readings until I got past the anxious sections – it would have been too disturbing to try to sleep with the eerie parts in my brain.

Honestly though, it wasn't as bad as I had been expecting. I heard rumors that it was going to be a bit more of a thriller and I was gearing up for pretty much start to finish spine-tingling (which would have been really hard for me to stick with), but instead it turned out to be very touching with some allusions to disturbing events in the past and then one big creepy factor right near the end.

This one is written in 1^st person present tense and still has all the great Charlotte Stein high points - a really deep POV, very compact plot, and some deep insight into what the rest of the characters are thinking. Unlike a lot of her other novels, this one is very light on the amusement factor. I had a slightly twitter-pated smile for a little while, but no laughing.

In fact, I think this is the first Charlotte Stein book that I was in tears for. These characters both have a lot of pain, especially in their past, but they work through their problems in an believable manner. They were weighty and intense with quite a bit of angst, but I loved how instead of solving problems with a magical relationship, she allows the characters to overcome their problems by taking back their power. Each step in their journey felt empowering and a blossoming of their potential.

That's not to say these two grew separately. Their relationship was the catalyst for everything that happened and Charlotte Stein has a great voice for distilling an entire relationship to it's focal points. We don't see much of jobs, friends, even surroundings outside the one small house. But we get every single detail of their relationship's forward progress. I felt like I was taking each step right along with the characters.

I had so many heart-warming feelings for this story. It's a book you want to read while snuggled in a blanket – to hold in the emotional parts and stay safe from the creepiness. I'd read it again when I need to be reminded of the hope of healing, even when things look mentally messed up. But I might not read it just before bed.

I received an ARC of this book from the author in exchange for my honest review.


**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of LietoFine

Still Life by Melanie Jackson

Still Life
by Melanie Jackson

Another re-read for me. This is book four in the Wildside series and it's been on sale, possibly re-issued digitally in the recent past. This series is one of my favorites for re-reads. The language is so flowery and over-the-top that it never gets old. It's a book with all kinds of mystical creatures, a little bit of romance, some sentient magic, and all kinds of unexpected twists. This version had some formatting issues, like they OCR'd this story and lost words every now and then or picked the wrong word sometimes. It didn't interrupt my enjoyment of the story, but I hope it gets fixed in the near future.

There's a little bit of old-skool to the relationships; it's not a bodice-ripper, but it's very clear that the maiden wouldn't be able to survive without the hero calling the shots. This is the first time I noticed it specifically in all my re-reads, but it did make me roll my eyes a couple times. The heroine has all this power and can do more/different things than the hero, but he ends up “directing” her power whenever she needs to use it. Like she's too impulsive and inexperienced to harness her power in an appropriate way.

The romance is almost on the back burner compared to the adventure; there aren't a lot of longing looks and ruminations, but at the end hero and heroine are happy and in love. I read these for the magic and adventure and it always hits just the right spot for me, even if this re-read gave me some sad thoughts about the power dynamic accorded to women in this story.

**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Five Dates by AJ Cousins

Five Dates
by Amy Jo Cousins

This writing is just so fantastic. I love how the author has a history of making every relationship in the story wonderful and loving: the secondary characters have full personalities but they don't take over the story, the main characters don't get bogged down with minor misunderstandings. In general, everyone sees the best in each other and deals with their issues without blaming others.

The idea of hookup culture still bothers me and it came up a lot that the characters had a ton of nearly anonymous sex in the past. As a peripheral issue I just had to push it aside in my mind. But it made me a little uncomfortable that these two would jump into a sexual relationship with each other so quickly, knowing that they had been really promiscuous in the past and not really hashing out the idea of safe sex beforehand.

I honestly think this is the first m/m story I've read. For the length, it had a lot of sex, pushing it towards erotic romance, but it was a sweet story with two vulnerable and likeable characters who know how to love but just need a little push to see how perfect they are for each other.

**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Two Mia West Stories in One Post!!

Initiation by Mia West
I got so much amusement from this story. It's just a short snippet, but a great way to find out if you like the premise. I found it to be a lot of fun – resourceful, sex-positive female character can time travel through partnered orgasms. The language is course and erotic and let's face it, the book is all about sex. But it's got a fun story and I can't wait to read the rest of the series to see how the story unfolds. This first bit barely introduces the main characters relationship: it's the start of everything and we're just getting a feeling for who they are. This story is written in first person, from the heroine's perspective.


Confined by Mia West
Two characters, working through their pain and looking for solitude, are trapped together by a freak storm in the mountains. It's real and gritty, with lots of sexy moments, some almost tears from me and a sweet, fulfilled feeling at the end.

This story flew by so quickly. I loved Megan and Nick. They were both hurting, both afraid to trust or let their true selves show. They were careful with each other, sex-positive, vulnerably consensual, and achingly real. If anything, I wanted their story to keep going for so much longer. I had no doubt at the end that they were meant to be together, but I would have loved to be part of their world for longer.

The language is a little more course than a lot of romance - no purple prose here. It's different than the trend of dirty-talkers or the tendency to throw in the “c” word every now and then. I didn't find it offensive, but there were times I said “oh. don't see that one very often”.

This is book two in the series, but they're not connected by character or location. This book can be read as a standalone.

**These two reviews are archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

September 2014 End of the Month Roundup

Another very stressful month. The kids' school is doing their annual Walk A Thon next week and I've been pretty stressed trying to make sure everything happens when it's supposed to. I read a bit, cooked a bit, but I wrote almost nothing. I am plotting my November novel for NaNoWriMo, so I've really got my fingers crossed that I can focus and write hard-core for the whole month of November.

What I've Read
Welcome to Dunvegas
This was a great collection of stories. Each one was unique and about different characters, but they were all located in the same place and had elements in common. I had no trouble keeping up with what the characters were doing and although most of the stories were so short they didn't include a happily-ever-after, I was left satisfied at the end of each one. All were well-written and concise without any extraneous details that would take away from the heart of each story. I will be looking for more stories by these authors.


Captivated by Mia West
I was entranced from the very start of this story. Beautiful and raw, very sexy and sweet. It's a great story of healing and fantasy, mixed together in a perfect blend of erotic and caring. (And to be clear, this is not fantasy/paranormal. I'm just referring to the fantasy/this-would-be-creepy-in-real-life style of story.) The language was a bit more course than the romance novels I normally read; putting this book firmly in the erotica category in my mind, even if it's still based around a sweet romance. I will definitely find more stories by this author and I'll probably even read this one again.


Meeting His Match by Katee Robert

For some reason, I just had trouble getting into this one. I started and stopped it a bunch of times before I finally got through it. There was nothing “bad” in it, but it definitely didn't hold my interest very well. I finished it and was glad for the happily-ever-after, but I wasn't invested in the characters' emotional growth.

What I've Cooked
I went back to some basics: Cheese and apple soup with french bread, tortellinis for the boys, salad, etc. I also made my healthier carrot cake and tomorrow I'm having a strudel making party with my mom. We'll see if we get some good results.

What I've been Listening To
Instead of giving you a music video to watch this month (because I can't come up with a song I've been listening to either), I did it. I made a little movie, including my stress relief music. Let's see if this works. If you have ideas of other things you'd like me to video blog about, definitely tell me. I was very nervous with this one, but I did it.

All I Have by Nicole Helm

All I Have
by Nicole Helm
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
This was my very first Nicole Helm book and let me tell you, she can really write the socially awkward heroine. It was an excellent glance into growing out of embarrassment and finding a place of confidence. The heroine was strong and powerful, even as she had remnants of her self-conscious, frumpy self.

I loved both hero and heroine in this book. They were tough and vulnerable and had some real problems to work through. There were times they acted stubborn and childish, but never to a point where they got annoying. Occasionally I wanted to smack one or two of them, but only in a good book way, not in the frustrated-throw-the-book way.

Their parents were a different matter. I didn't feel like there was a solid resolution over the way the parents were treating the children. Not that one normally gets that resolution in real life, but in my fiction I like having a powerful confrontation where the parents accept that the kids have grown up. That didn't really happen here, but the main characters showed a good amount of emotional growth in the rest of their lives and moved on from trying to please their parents by the end of the book.

The story was sweet and touching and the banter was lots of fun. I will definitely look for more books by this author.

I received this book as a gift with no review obligations.

**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Having Her by Jackie Ashenden

Having Her
By Jackie Ashenden
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
Ok, so I started this book ages ago. I love Jackie Ashenden's writing. Her style is awesome and when you need angst, this is the place to be. But...I over angsted myself right before I started this book. I got about half way through, saw a certain plot twist, and nearly threw my kindle against the wall. I had to take a break. But I knew I'd finish it eventually so I just put it aside for a while.

And it's true. I got back in the mood and I picked it right back up. There were tears and feelings and so much caring and angst. I liked the story a lot, even if you need the right mood for angst.

It's so rare to have a book that allow the heroine to dress however she likes, even if it's out of the norm, without trying to change her. Vin doesn't LIKE her clothes and makeup, but he's completely attracted to her even with all of it. He never asks her to change it even when he thinks it's weird.

The two of them were into BSDM a little bit, but it wasn't a “this is the only way we do it”, it was just “this is fun”. In some cases, it was letting each character hide behind a facade, but I never felt like it went into unhealthy territory.

Both characters grew and changed, even if it was a quick turn around. They tugged on my heartstrings and I really wanted them to work out. I'm still of the rational mind that “changing your attitude” or “true love” will not magically solve all your emotional issues, but I enjoy having an angsty book where everything is perfect in the end.

**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

(Healthier) Carrot Cake

I didn't go full Paleo on this recipe. Frankly, I didn't want to spend the money on all the extra almond flour if it ended up tasting nasty. But this one has whole wheat flour, almond flour, no refined sugar, and coconut oil. I rank it as quite a lot better for you than just plain carrot cake - healthy enough to eat for breakfast :) And if it always turns out the same way this batch did...slightly crunchy top with a nice, moist inside, it won't last long in this house. It's a slightly more nutty taste, and one child didn't care for the difference, but I though it was pretty darn perfect.

(Healthier) Carrot Cake

6-8 cups of baby carrots
2 cups white whole wheat flour
3 cups almond flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
2 cups coconut sugar
1 cup coconut oil
9 eggs
1 cup maple syrup

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Use a little bit of coconut oil to grease five large aluminum foil loaf pans.

Use your Vita-Mix to wet chop the carrots: put half of them at a time in the Vita-Mix, cover with water, turn on and increase to level 6, and process until they're all chopped up. Pour into a sieve to let the water drain out.

In a separate bowl, combine the flours, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and coconut sugar. When it's all uniformly mixed, add in the coconut oil. You can use a wooden spoon, mixer, or pastry knife thing to squish it all up until it's distributed evenly with very small chunks (like when you're making pie crust).

Add in the eggs and the maple syrup and stir until the batter is all the same consistency. Fold in the chopped carrots. Divide up the batter into the five loaf pans (approximately two cups of batter each). Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Here at a higher altitude, that turned out to be about 55 minutes. It could be as little as 30 minutes for you.

-- This recipe is loosely based off the Carrot Cake recipe in my Better Home and Gardens Cookbook.

August 2014 Roundup

August is back to school month. This is the first time ever that both of my children are at the same school with the same schedule. Hypothetically, that means I only need to drop off and pick up my kids (all at the same time) and then be free the rest of the day. Realistically, that hasn't happened yet. With all of the back to school activities, I ended up at the school all day yesterday, 9am-8pm, with three stops back at home for things like lunch and kid drop offs. The kids and I are doing well with the schedule, but it's been busy these first couple weeks.

What I've been reading:
With the start of school, I feel like I haven't read much this month. Like I'm a bit out of the reading groove while I try to adjust to the boys' school schedules and get all the initial back-to-school stuff done. I managed a couple books, but I've also been writing more. I crossed 14K words on my current project, so it's getting more exciting; like something I'm actually doing instead of just messing around.

When The Lights Go Down by Amy Jo Cousins
Sweet, sexy and very witty. It was a good solid story, with characters that leap off the page and dance. Maxie was so varied and it was fun to see how she could put on any persona she wanted to. Underneath that, there were times she still seemed really young, but the rest of the time she was very no-nonsense. It was a great story with an engaging plot; some funny moments, some sweet feels, and a lot of hotness. It was a perfect story to read while I was running the boys around to after school events. (Released September 2nd in a Harlequin E Contemporary Set, so be sure to get it while it's a great deal.)

Tempting Her Best Friend by Gina Maxwell
This one was a little late night indulgence for me. I really do like the friends-to-lovers trope and since I've never been to a romance conference, this was a double-whammy. I loved seeing some of the silly situations and this book gave me a couple good laughs in addition to being really hot. It's short and sweet without a lot of external conflict, but I felt like the sexual stereotypes were a little high a couple times.

Animal Attraction
I read Maizey Yates' story a while ago, but I never got around to the other stories. Since I'm not having much reading luck anyway, I figured I'd try these ones. Each story includes pets of some kind. They're all contemporary. Not super short, but not full novels either. I liked Maisey's story when I read it, but I found the other ones so cliched. Lori Foster's story had a guy who's known the heroine for years and years, but really had to sow his wild oats before he was capable of settling down. The heroine has low self-esteem, no mentioned previous relationships, and has been pining for the hero all along. Heidi Betts' story kept the characters on more equal footing, but throws in so many overused phrases that I tended to roll my eyes. Jules Bennett's story felt like it emotionally jumped a lot. One minute they're not okay with something and the next minute it's not a big deal. Overall I'd probably rate the book a solid four stars with the caveat that you have to be in the right headspace for Harlequin-esque, cliched, alpha-light stories.

Second Chance by Audra North
Cute and short. The story is about an hour of reading and it was a very enjoyable hour. A little bit of paranormal, but with a small town feel. I wanted to know a bit more about everyone, but this was like a single snapshot into their lives. There was a time or two when the timeline got confusing, but the emotions were solid and I truly enjoyed the writing.

What I'm Watching:
The boys were out of town just before school started, so I re-watched My Best Friend's Girl. It's been one of my favorite movies of the last few years. My DH just shakes his head because it's so dirty, but it's really sweet too. Dane Cook is pretty hot and obnoxious, but he's so vulnerable and jaded.

DH and I got a date afternoon to see Guardians of the Galaxy. It was an amusing movie, but I was disappointed with the lack of world-building and character development. I laughed a couple times, in a snicker-y way, but they didn't include enough information about why each character mattered, what the point of all of it was, and there was way too much gratuitous death for my taste.

The movie I really want to see (coming out maybe in October?) is Kingsman. That one looks very awesome. Colin Firth, British accents, zany silliness in an action movie. Yes, please.

What I'm Listening To:
I've listened to this one a lot this month. Stay With Me by Nemesea. Her voice is just so awesome. I think I like the studio version a little better; there's just so much power behind it.

As an added bonus, I've been having trouble getting into other songs because I'm being lazy and I haven't bought this song yet. I really need it.

My First Bit of Fan Fiction

I had a writing challenged issued to me by a friend on Twitter: write 500 words in some sort of fandom. It took us ages to settle on a fandom and a prompt, but it was finally decided. The color blue, frustration, and Sherlock Holmes.

I wrote a scene over the course of two days and posted it to a fanfic site, but I also wanted to post a link here. The problem is, it's an explicit scene and I don't want my blog tagged with all the adult content warnings.

So, I posted the scene on my Tumblr as well (which is already tagged for adult content) and I'll just link below. If you think you'd be interested in what I've written, please check it out.

Birthday Frustration

Getting My Intensity On

I can be pretty intense. Yes, it's true. Coming from a background where people are required to share everything, we're all best friends, anything not shared must have malicious intent; it's hard not to be intense. I grew up believing that being late was a moral failing, forgetting someone's name was like spitting on your best friend, not answering your phone was akin to hating someone, not responding to an email was considered an act of hostility.

Some of these lessons are good to learn - how to be on time, how to pay attention and focus, how to be considerate of others. All wonderful traits to work on. But when they become a life and death, heaven or hell doctrines, you start running into problems.

Take for example, getting married. Being around someone who's not used to that intensity can be peculiar. It's one of those things that's nice for a little while when you're dating but then it starts to wear you out. And here's the thing: when you're taught that all that intensity is supposed to be channeled into making your partner happy, not only can it be overwhelming for them, but eventually it wears on you because your partner has no clue how to match that intensity. But they might be perfectly happy receiving a whole lot of it.

That's how my sexual relationships started. So much intensity from me, but partners who had no clue how to give back. And for a long time I didn't let that problem bother me. It's all good, I thought, I'm supposed to be giving anyway. But years go by and it starts to wear on you.

Then eventually you have kids and you're tired and that intensity has to be spread between more people. There's more of them and still only one of you. You're left on crumbling ground and your partner still hasn't figured it out. They're almost resentful that you're not focused on them, even if they used to dodge the intensity all the time. They liked having the choice of accepting or rejecting whenever they wanted and not having to DO anything. But now you're both faced with a dilemma: you're not willing to go back and they have no idea how to go forward.

You sign up for counseling. You spend a lot of time working on your boundaries and finding autonomy without as much intensity. You work on small talk without having to make a deep connection with everyone you meet. You try not to scare people. But here's the thing: you've always defined love with this big nebulous ball of intensity inside you. And if you're not being all intense, you can't really tell if you feel love. It's so romance novel cliched, but it's true. You can keep going just fine, but your brain is missing out on that feeling: that flying adrenaline from knowing everyone within an inch of their life.

You feel like some part of you is hidden away. You're afraid to even open the box because you're not sure if you can control it. So you don't say much, in case you say the wrong thing. People think you're really quiet and shy. And you are, but not simply for the reasons they assume. You're scared to get rejected and end up without a place again.

I went and did this giant run in May, on a team no less. And I came home feeling like I was flying. I had a taste of that intensity again and my brain turned on. It's not even like I really visited with people much or had some deep connection. I just "fit" for a little while. It was heady. I haven't felt like that in years.

But there's always a crash afterwards, right? And there was. A couple days later, I could barely make small talk with people. It all felt so futile. Like I really didn't fit in at all. Some of these people were the same ones I was in a van with and I realized once again that I don't truly fit in with them. I couldn't make all the pieces fit.

I kept pushing myself and I got through the crash. But that swing made me think, maybe I need to start opening that box again. Maybe I need to try and control it, but let out some part of who I used to be. I've had quite a number of years placing internal timers and reminders around myself: normal people get there 5 minutes late, normal people don't write 5 page emails to others on a daily basis, normal people don't sustain eye contact all the time and don't remember every detail someone told them.

Do you understand? That means I had to learn to tune people out so they didn't think I was too intense. I set my internal clock to force myself to leave 5 minutes later than normal. I pretend I don't remember things. I look at the day I got an email and specifically don't reply right away. I remind myself to pull out my phone when I'm around others so it looks like I'm not as invested.

I feel like I'm doing better. It's getting more natural. But it also feels very dull. There's not much space left for your heart when you're so used to processing everything analytically and deliberately. But it's scary to open up. It's scary to feel like you might get used or rejected. Then again, it's also depressing to stay in this static rational state. And let's be realistic, I can't sustain the same intensity even if I wanted to, with two kids and other responsibilities, so then I worry that people are going to think I run really hot and cold if I let myself be who I am.

I'm going to get out there. Eventually I'll push that balance a bit more and maybe I'll find a better place on the spectrum to feel more like myself. The good part is, I feel very strong and I almost feel normal...relatively often. But some part of it is not me, at least not the whole me. This recent run gave me the push I needed to see I still have that excitement inside me. I don't have to stay in this solemn state, at least not as often. I've pushed through so many other things, I should be able to push through this too.

So, if you meet me somewhere, I hope I act normal. It's possible that I'll be quiet. I probably won't be loud. I hope I won't freak you out if my intensity gets the better of me. I hope you won't hate me when I crash and shut the intensity off. For each step I take closer to being normal, I'm hoping that I move down the rational/emotional spectrum enough to be true to my heart.

Three Nights With A Rock Star by Amber Lin and Shari Slade

Three Nights with a Rock Star
by Amber Lin and Shari Slade
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
I was warned that this was a pretty crazy book and boy were they right. Even with the warning, I was a little bit mind boggled. It was a very compelling read and I couldn't stop turning pages, but it wasn't at all what I was expecting.

So here's the deal, Hailey was trying to find her sister's lover who might be a member of this band because she wanted to make him take responsibility for being the father of her sister's baby. Lock was the leader of the band and had a case of insta-lust when he saw Hailey. He agreed to give her access to the band if she gave herself to him for three days – signing a contract and everything.

We never really know what happened that made the contract necessary. Lock was kind of kinky in an exhibitionism, three-way action, not-just-in-the-bedroom sex...a little bit of being tied up or spanking. Nothing at all non-consensual. I was more surprised how it was alluded to that he had these big, dark needs, but by the end we still didn't really know what's SOOO terrible that he'd need a contract, how he thought the contract would protect him, or how he's dealing with a couple other twists in the story.

This was basically two stories in one, both sisters got some air time and the two stories are only marginally connected. In fact, they're two completely different genres of romance. We jumped back and forth between totally dirty decadence to sweet, light perhaps-it-would-be-ok-to-kiss churchy romance. It felt a little jarring to go back and forth and I wasn't sure how the second romance actually dealt with their issues either. The reason they weren't together before was just dropped and everything's ok now.

I felt like I wasn't in right mood for a story where the big star falls for the first person who's innocent and not jaded. It's not that Hailey was against sex – she wanted everything happening – but Lock liked her because she was so inexperienced and open to everything he wanted. I'd go so far as to say Hailey was happy with whatever she got, was so thrilled that someone was paying attention to her; even the crumbs of affection that Lock was able to give were enough for her because she hadn't had anything else. It was like an edgy old-skool romance where the hero provided the adventure and the heroine was there to balance out the emotions and caring.

So as an interesting story with a lot of dirty sex, this one was a winner. I couldn't help myself reading it...like looking at the tabloids in the grocery store checkout aisle. But it left a lot of openings in the romance and I didn't feel like I knew anything about the story arc of any of the characters besides yay-sex and these pairings are together now. I felt it ended with riding off into the sunset, but not actually solving any of the problems that come up throughout the story.

I received a complementary ARC from the author, with no expectations of a review.


**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Waiting On You by Kristan Higgins

Waiting On You
by Kristan Higgins
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
This was pretty much what you can expect from a Kristan Higgins book: good people that aren't all good, bad people that are more complicated than evil, a sweet romance, lots of friends, and some tears from you. Oh and also, staying up late to finish it. This was not one of the gut-heaving sob books like a couple of her others, but there were still tears...mostly happy, sweet tears.

Colleen was loud, brash and exuberant: everyone likes her. She's got a reputation of knowing people, helping them, and just being in-tune with everyone. And for the most part, it's so seamless throughout the story. She's far from perfect, but she's enjoyable. She's in-your-face caring about people but it felt like she didn't put herself out there much.

Lucas was all quiet and broody. He kept to himself, felt like he was always on the outside, even though he's super hot and everyone likes him. Their relationship problems were a lot of miscommunication/avoidance but it never got over-the-top annoying. Every situation was something you'd look at and think it could happen to you too.

But...I was really frustrated with how Colleen's sexuality was portrayed. At first it seemed like shejust flirts with everyone, but then somewhere along the line, the story changed to she's basically the town slut. I felt like it went from she's good at being friendly and everyone knew the score to she'd slept with any man in her age bracket but everyone still liked her. I don't know. I can't totally pin down what made me uncomfortable about it. We give men in romance novels a lot more leeway on how prolific their conquest list can be, but I feel like it wasn't an unfair standard of purity that was bothering me. Or maybe it was. Maybe it was that Colleen kept saying how everyone knew the score, but whenever a little extra tension was needed, one of her old conquests would throw it out there to embarrass her. It seemed like there was no other reason for it and was this half measure of trying to be sex-positive but still missing the point.

So yes, everyone in the story was flawed. Kristan Higgins turned a couple stereotypes on their heads, which was an interesting dynamic. The tears in this one were sweet and only right at the end. Everyone was redeemed and human at the end of the story. The bad guys weren't as bad as you'd expect, the good guys weren't as perfect as they appeared. But happiness still worked out, even if it was a little bit of brush-the-problems-under-the-bed instead of dealing with things head-on.

Although I liked Colleen and Lucas overall, I hated the way her sexuality was portrayed and I don't think I'll read this one again. It touched me and was happy at the end, but the emotions were a little farther away and lighter than some of the other books. But I still stayed up late two nights in a row because I couldn't put the book down.


**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

End of the Month Roundup - July 2014

Would you look at that? I got this post done before the end of the month. Even being gone for two weeks this month, but I'm catching up. The kids go back to school in just a couple more weeks. Summer's almost over. I'm looking forward to the start of a consistent routine, even if waking up 10 minutes earlier is going to be tough.

What I've been reading:
Check out my goodreads account as I start posting more of these quickie reviews. Trying to balance writing a story with writing full-length reviews is hard. I'm at about 7K words on my story and I don't want to lose steam. The two weeks of vacation did not help my productivity yet.

Fighting for Irish by Gina Maxwell
A sweet, sexy story with a lot of trauma and pain. The characters were emotional and vulnerable; not all that honest, but they felt emotionally available to each other; warm and caring and invested in each other from early on. I don't really care for all the MMA books lately; this hero's all beat up constantly. The number of injuries on this guy got out of control for me. Like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon - let me just pop my shoulder back in and I'm good - over the top. Maybe MMA fighters really do have this many injuries, but I have trouble thinking fresh bruises, open wounds, cracked ribs, but let's get the sexy on. Aiden and Kat were both integral in helping the other overcome their trauma and I thought the growth process was pretty solid. I liked how caring they were towards each other and even Aiden (alpha guy that he was) was able to express emotion in a tangible way. I found the bum loving a little capricious and whimsical and I couldn't help laughing at the overused cliche - we're as close as we can be, riding bare in your butt. This story was a bit more suspenseful than the other Gina Maxwell books I've read. People threatening violence, stories of rape and threats of sex-trafficking. It might be triggering for some. It was a nice romance, but with all the violence, I don't think I'd read it again. Seducing Cinderella is still my favorite from Gina Maxwell. If you're looking for a good one, I'd recommend that one over this one. 3-1/2 stars

Talk Me Down by Victoria Dahl
So, somehow I missed out on ever reading a Victoria Dahl. I think I picked one up ages ago when I was still stuck in my puritanical phase and just couldn't get into it. Now that I've left most of that behind, I had to check out her books again. I found this one at a used bookstore and it looked good. Somehow I ended up with a bunch of romance novels with romance-writing heroines, so I might be going through a phase. Anyway, this one didn't disappoint. It was amusing and fun and very sexy. A very blatantly sex-positive heroine with an uptight hero. It was fun to see all the teasing. But...at the same time, this one had some creepy stalker stuff going on and for the last half of the book I had to keep reading just to find out what happened next. It's an odd juxtaposition to have such lighthearted teasing and sexy interspersed with so much creepy. But I enjoyed the book and I can't wait to read more. 4 stars

Fiancee For Hire by Tawna Fenske
I didn't really need to buy more books, but what can I say; it was on sale. First off, DO NOT start this book when you're eating. The amount of cat neutering details on the first few pages are on the disgusting side. This book had some tears, some playful happy times, and a bit of silly suspense too. I loved the way it was written. It didn't take itself too seriously most of the time and proved that it's ok for books to be silly. There were so many animal details; it was gross but also intriguing. It's the sort of thing you wonder...why would anyone know this? But you just can't stop reading. It gives me hope that silly and zany is ok. The editing was a little iffy in my opinion. A couple times I'm sure situations were mixed up from one page to the next, commas and words were off on occasion too. For the shorter length, I would have expected a bit better. But the story was so sweet and zany. I got a lot of enjoyment from it. 4 stars

What I've been watching:
I finally let my 8yo watch Sea of Monsters. He got through it with no nightmares. Hooray. Also, he kept the sound off for 3/4 of the movie. The boys would turn to me the whole time to ask what's going on. And what can I say, YOU TURNED THE SOUND OFF! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. But I didn't yell. I only felt like it. Now the 8yo is convinced he could watch the Titan's Curse (if they make it) at the theater and I keep having to remind him, there's no mute at the theater. He has not graduated himself up to either of the first two at volume the whole time, so no I'm not taking him to the theater for number three. Also, I veto'd Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the theater. See above volume issue.

I took myself to see Lucy this week while the boys were in camp. The beginning part was a little iffy to me. The whole terrified female being tortured and stuff is very disturbing for me. I felt like the movie got a little preachy with the brain capacity/evolution thing; instead of being all action movie, it tried to intersperse the action with textbook-style lecture jargon. But I was invested in the storyline, even with the glaring inconsistencies (yes, she can kill without conscience, bang bang bang, they're all dead...except for that guy who could kill her later, she only tortures him before she walks out again). I had a lot of thinking time afterwards on the nature of humanity and emotion. It's interesting stuff. But when I got to the end and saw Luc Besson's name, it all made sense. Ah yes, the movie is the exact feeling of La Femme Nikita (minus the lecture). The terrified female segueing into emotionless killing machine. Yep, exactly. Even the ending had the same feeling as La Femme Nikita - it made sense, but wasn't an emotionally satisfying conclusion. So, I'd downgrade this one for the preachy feel, plus the inconsistencies; but I enjoyed my time watching it. 3 stars, plus a little bit.

Also, DH and I watched the first episode of Season 2 of The IT Crowd. I haven't seen DH laugh that hard in a while. We were very amused. Five more episode of that season to squeeze in sometime.

What I've been cooking:
We were gone two full weeks of this month, so I haven't made much. I got back into the groove and made a big batch of pancakes. No added sugar products (*whispers* except the chocolate chips) and the kids still love them. I've also got a batch of slow cooker risotto on right now. We'll see how it turns out.

What I'm listening to:
Oh man, this video is so 90's. But every time I listen to this song I get shivers up and down my spine.

Gratuitous Sky Picture:

Only With You by Lauren Layne

Only With You

by Lauren Layne
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
Lauren Layne books always have such compelling characters. I kept telling myself I'd only stay up for a few minutes reading, but each session ended up being over an hour. Gray and Sophie were likable and vulnerable. Gray was socially inept while Sophie seemed to have nothing but social niceties – for a while, Gray didn't think she had anything deeper than that.

I felt so many things for these two. Sophie's sense of inadequacy really drove the book forward. We see all the things she's really good at, but no one (including herself) truly valued her contribution. Her family criticized her all the time, she was always in go-nowhere sorts of jobs, even her boyfriend dumped her for being too flighty.

When Sophie met Gray, he was exactly the opposite of her: quiet and stoic, very serious, totally grounded. I loved how he saw value in her and always called her on the way she'd belittle herself. I felt like we missed out on a bunch of his story. He seemed to have a lot of pain and motivations that didn't get hashed out in the book.

Most of the plot revolves around the misunderstandings and anger between Sophie and Gray. There were a couple times I wanted to smack them and tell them to stop being so petty and childish. But I also saw the realism behind it. It wasn't an over-the-top drama-fest. It was just people being stuck in their own heads. It kept me invested in the story and I had my fingers crossed that they could work things out.

But...the ending. Gosh, it bothered me. It felt like they had this big explosion; such a huge, nasty argument with both of them saying terrible things. Gray said and did some things that made Sophie feel so small again. It was pretty blatant and it felt really outside his personality. With all of the ways he built her up, he tore her down in seconds and I didn't feel like we saw what the cause was.

It's possible that there was introspection we didn't see. From the time of the argument until the make up, we didn't see anything in Gray's POV, so I honestly had no idea what was going through his head.

It just reminded me of some of the older contemporaries I used to read where the hero would be all “I can't possibly say 'I love you', unless I already know she loves me first”. Seriously. He didn't even say “I love you” during their make up scene. It was just sort-of assumed and he got off really easily because “he was damaged”.

So yes, Sophie grew and found her footing. Yay for her. She was a true and vulnerable character and I liked that she didn't rely on Gray to solve her problems. She fixed them on her own, started on a path that would make her happy, and even stood up for herself. I was glad for her. But I had a sour taste when she just accepted Gray back without him TOTALLY groveling, because he really needed to after the things he said.

Would I recommend this book? Yes, I love the writing and I love the characterizations. But you might end up feeling dejected from the ending, like I was. It was one of those books that I felt I needed to make up my own ending to resolve my issues. I would have given it five stars if the ending was better. I still liked it enough to give it four stars.

I received a complementary ARC of this book from netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

No Regrets by Claire Kent

No Regrets
by Claire Kent
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
Told in first person POV, this novel starts out with the emotional pull straight away. I was near tears within the first few pages. It was such a heartbreaking start to a story. With that much emotion, I ended up reading small passages at a time because I wasn't prepared for that much intensity.

I wasn't sure how much I trusted the pull of Leslie and Josh. Or maybe I should say...there were so many large, emotional things happening in other areas of their lives, I felt overwhelmed and like maybe they were too fragile to know if they'd really work out. I didn't doubt that they felt connected, but I wasn't sure that their connection would last through non-dramatic times.

At the beginning of the book, Leslie's dog is being put to sleep. She's heartbroken and completely lost. She felt like she had no emotional connection outside her dog for years and years; although she does go out with work friends on occasion.

Josh is there for her, even though he's not really wanting emotional connections. They end up with a one-night stand that turns into casual sex, but they're both hiding their feelings in a rather obvious way.

This is an intense mix of emotional intensity and kinky sex. These two experiment a lot (i.e. give Leslie lots of experiences she's never had), but in a very raw, down-to-earth sort of way. They were fumbly and enthusiastic, which gave this story a different feeling than pure erotic romance. There was public-ish sex, anal sex, spankings and male dominance; but all of it was done with a hesitant, unpretentious manner. Although much of the sex communication was grunts and groans, there was a running dialog between the characters to make sure they were both enjoying their play.

In terms of no regrets, I didn't feel like Leslie did anything else with her life except taking the risk on casual sex. I liked her conclusions near the end of the book, but I felt like I didn't see other parts of her life becoming more confident or something. I'm not sure.

Josh was sweet and damaged. He was like this perfect guy to Leslie: treated her great, always seemed to have time for her, basically perfect. Except that he just wanted casual. He didn't ever call her. He took whatever she would give without really trying to give back to her or ask for anything himself. It was sad to see and it wasn't until the very end that he got over it. There was some allusion to a mental breakdown that he had before the story starts, but we don't really see if that affects him in a physical way besides not wanting to be in a relationship.

So here's what I felt: the conflict was only internal, there was never really a reason for these two not to be together, they were physical and real with a nice ending but wasn't sure they connected outside of using each other as a crutch. They were both physically attracted to the other and they ended up with believably happy feelings, but for most of the book I wasn't convinced they could stick it out. I had an uncomfortable feeling that without Leslie's despair,

They both had something to take from the other. Josh pampered Leslie and showered her with attention when they were together. It brought her out of her own head and gave her something to focus on. Leslie was such a nurturing person, Josh was able to get the caring he needed while still convincing himself that it was all casual. They used each other and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

This novel felt raw and gritty, real and poignant. There's no way to read it without having your heart strings tugged. I was left feeling happy that they worked out but still sad for all of their pain. It's one of those novels that you can only read when you're ok with discomfort and heartbreak.

I received a complementary ARC from netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

End of the Month Roundup - June 2014

Ok, so it's not actually June anymore. It's nearly a third of the way through July too. But hey, let's not split hairs. I was on vacation last week and had zero brain power for writing anything. So here we go...

What I'm reading:
Twisted Miracles by A.J. Larrieu
I was feeling like a little bit of paranormal and this one didn't disappoint. The 1st person POV gets a little old to me, but that seems to be the nature of most urban fantasy paranormal types. I looked at this one as almost NA because Cass seems to be drifting and unfocused. I believe she was 26, so a little beyond new adult, but she never resolved who she was until this story takes place. I love a good telepathy/telekinesis tale, so I was all in for this one. The romance was a background thread vs the story although I can see it getting more important in later books. It was fast paced and exciting, but barely scratched the surface of how the world works or why. It did make me want to wait anxiously for the next book in the series. 4 stars

A Taste of Candy by Shoshanna Evers
I only had a little bit of time and wanted a full story, so I chose this one. It was free on Kindle for a while. A sexy, experienced, famous rock star and a naive, frumpy woman on a date that turns into more. There were sex toys (including butt plugs), bondage, spanking, dominance, but nothing heavier than you'd find at a tame sex shop. A lot of the alpha stories sort-of run together for me, so it was a good read but it didn't draw me in so much that I'll read it again. 4 stars

Gentlemen Prefer Succubi by Jill Myles
I've had this one on my Kindle for a while and for some reason it just kept getting pushed to the back of the stack. It's a 1st person POV, paranormal/urban fantasy story of a woman being turned into a succubus. There's some love/sex interest, but not a clear path of romance. Jackie, as a new succubus, has certain morals about who she'll sleep with (unlike the other succubus she meets), but she's not very smart on her adventure. The tide of the story washed her up where she needed to be and she was just carried along for the ride. It was action packed and sort-of sexy, but I liked the story much more than the characters. I wished every minute that Jackie would have actually asked questions instead of following her assumptions and believing the last thing she heard and never thinking about anything else. There was some blood and guts, but I didn't feel drawn so deeply into the story that it got gory in my head. Also, for a succubus, she didn't have a lot of sex - there was quite a bit of sexual tension but very little release. I felt like it nearly veered into a moralistic, virgins-are-better, soap box sermon; but it also had her having sex with more than one guy so...an odd dichotomy to be sure. I might check out the next one in the series because I enjoyed the writing. 4 stars

I just started Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan because my son really wants me to catch up to him. I keep telling myself I'll only read while the boys are at Tae Kwon Do, so I can still work on other books. But I'm really having trouble with that. I always forget how much I enjoy MG fantasy. These sorts of books can be like crack for me. My son asked me last night how far I got... yeah... two hours of reading puts me at about the halfway point. I'm trying to pace myself a little bit because I don't want to finish all five stories before he's done with them.

Also, I had a couple ARCs that I got through this month. Look for those reviews coming out at the end of July.

What I'm listening to:
I've been a little burned out with music lately. It might be a product of trying to write, but I just can't get into much yet. So I've got my instrumental alternative rock on lately. At the moment: Epica. Powerful female vocals, growly men, choral background and lots of drums. I can barely follow the words most of the time, so I don't get trapped in the emotional singing. Which has had the added bonus of making me sit down at the piano and play again, because what better way to procrastinate writing.

What I'm watching:
My husband and I had a date afternoon last month. We saw X-Men at the theater. There was some nice man-candy and the story was engaging. I had fun watching, but it won't become a favorite.

Also, we downloaded season one of The IT Crowd. We got some good laughs from it, but some of it was a little slow. The good part is, six episodes and only 22 minutes each means we finished the whole season in like four days. I think we'll get season two soon.

What I've been cooking:
Basically nothing. It's hot, we're busy, I haven't felt like doing much with the oven. I made a couple Vita-Mix soups, enchiladas one night, spaghetti sauce. I have to remind myself that the boys like the simpler stuff better. I don't have to go out of my way to find something new each week.

What I'm afraid of:
I'm writing more and more. My one story has about 5700 words in it (some of which will not last). Lately I've been having trouble inspiring myself to sit down and do it. I had some setbacks last week in my brain and I'm depressed still, but I think I've been hesitating because the story is growing so big in my mind. What if I completely disengage from life because I'm so wrapped up in that world? The couple days I did manage some writing, I didn't want to do anything else. I think about the characters and the story all the time and I feel like once I start getting it all down, I'm not going to be able to stop.

So, there you go. That's been my month. What's been on your kindle lately? Any good recipes to share? Ever been there, wondering if your story will take over the real world?

Have Mercy by Shelley Ann Clark

Have Mercy
by Shelley Ann Clark
Rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

My Review:
I had been nervous to read this one, knowing that I don't care for BDSM (read: pain and over-dominance) stories and seeing indications of that in the blurb, but I heard good things about it and I'm so glad I gave it a try. I felt like each time I picked up the book, I traveled outside space and time and just got lost in the story. I lost all track of what was going on around me and became completely immersed in these characters.

This book turned almost every gender stereotype on it's head. From the heroine telling the hero he was beautiful, to putting her in charge of the band, to having her be the dominant one in the relationship, to having the hero be more emotional. It made me stop and think all the time about how we look at stereotypes. So many things that you don't even recognize as identified “masculine” until you see it turned around.

The only thing I didn't like about the story, was that it ended. I wanted it to keep going for so much longer. It didn't end on a cliffhanger or anything, but many of the resolutions required the reader to infer what happened; there was no big reveal at the end where every loose end is tidily completed and explained. Don't get me wrong, the ending was perfect too, but I really wanted more.

In true gender-bending fashion, Tom had to learn to stand up for himself with his family. He was a passive character in his life choices and his relationship with Emme gave him the strength to make changes and take what he wanted from life. He did smoke for most of the book. It was sort of distracting for me because you never read books with smokers anymore.

I loved the music and togetherness – being in a van together, the camaraderie of playing side-by-side, the little quirks of musicians. It made me feel like I was a part of the band and Emme held everyone together. She had an undeniable presence and while she stayed true to herself, it took this story for her to accept that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

So, let's talk about the kinky sex. I think Ms. Clark handled it fantastically. This was a female dominant story and hoo-boy was it sexy. There was a lot of talk and teasing, but it never veered towards reluctant willingness. Both characters wanted exactly what was going on. There was a little bit of spanking and it gave hints of a desire to be kinkier, but mostly it was a woman power playing a man...which you see so rarely in romance. And not only that, but Tom really wanted what Emme was offering. It wasn't a matter of him letting her have fun until he could go back to the dominant role.

So, music? Check. Sexy? Check. Enthralling? Check. I will definitely read this story again and I can't wait for more books by this author. (Oh, and as a side note, this book has nothing to do with Uncle Jesse.)

I received a complementary ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.


**This review is archived on my blog: The Theory of Lieto Fine

Revised Brownies

I assume most people reading this have seen the original Paleo Brownies that I make every few weeks. Well, I tend to mess around with these sorts of recipes. I have trouble making the same thing, the same way, twice. This month's iteration turned out really good and much more consistently-textured, so I just had to share.

The problem with the original recipe is that, in an 8x8 pan: you have to cook it for a really long time, the outer edges are a bit hard and rubbery, and the inner section is really gooey. This variation takes care of all those issues and still gives you a very yummy brownie.

First off, I had to up the amount of nuts. I use 2-1/2 cups of un-ground nuts (combined any way you want...this batch was 1-1/2 cups almonds, 1/2 cup walnuts, 1/2 cup pecans. I find just almonds to be a bit bland tasting and just walnuts are on the bitter side). After grinding them up, mix in a bowl with 1/2 cup baking cocoa, 1/2 cup coconut sugar, 1/2 tsp salt and 1 tsp baking soda. Try to get as much lumpiness out as you can, until you have a nice even texture and all of the cocoa is incorporated.

In the same bowl (look what I did there! One bowl!), add 2 eggs, 1/2 cup maple syrup, 1/4 cup coconut oil and 1 tbls vanilla. This was a warm day, so I had no trouble with the coconut oil melting as I mixed. In winter, it might be necessary to melt first. Mix just until it has a consistent texture. Then add in about 2.5 oz of shaved dark chocolate, and fold over a few times to combine.

Use coconut oil to grease a 9x13 baking pan. Pour the batter in and use a spatula to spread it out evenly. It'll seem pretty thin, maybe 1/2 inch thick, so work it gently but make sure it's spread all the way to the edges of the pan. Bake for 30 minutes in a 325 degree oven. You might even want to check it after 20 minutes and decide how much longer. I normally have to give recipes extra time since I'm at a higher altitude, but 35 minutes for this batch was actually a little too long.

They turned out nicely cake-y (so if you're looking for gooey, definitely take the time down) and very evenly textured. Easy to cut and remove from the pan too. And they were eaten too fast to get a picture of a whole piece! I'll definitely make these again in this same way.